*casually fucks up every good thing that happens to me*
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
tis the season
when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you.
Ready for April fools day
Gonna take it to school and eat it
I ate 3/4 of the jar and I made 3 teachers gag and one friend get angry at me.
fuck bro, I thought you were gunna fill all those cups with mayonnaise and hand them out at school and some serious shit was gunna go down
people who can open cereal boxes perfectly are not to be trusted